Sunday, February 24, 2008

The Viper Bouquet

I'll be the first to admit I have a problem. When it comes to lines, they have to be straight. I still press my pants, including shorts, with military creases. My shirt sleeves, long or short, have to be creased right down the middle. Pictures are constantly straightened about the house and in the workplace. I feel sure it goes back to Boot Camp. I learned how to properly fold socks, shirts and pants quickly after finding the entire contents of my locker on the floor a couple of times. Bed sheets and blankets had to be "line tight" with "hospital corners". I just can't get beyond it, to this day. So when Darlene commented on my last post that I had created a "bouquet of vipers" in the kitchen, she wasn't kidding in the least. The remaining 76 eyelash vipers and bush vipers born late last year are all positioned in perfect order in one corner of the kitchen.

The "viper bouquet". Each baby is housed in 16oz. clear, pre-punched (air holes) deli cups purchased from superiorenterprise.com

Each deli cup is labled, identifying the birth mother and date of birth.

A 2oz. "portion cup" is used for a water bowl and to help maintain humidity. Paper towel pieces are used for substrate. Here, a 5 month old baby eyelash viper perches on the edge of the portion cup.

Now each of you should be able to create your own lovely viper bouquet. Granted, you'll need a very tolerant and understanding mate like Darlene, who doesn't mind venomous snakes in the kitchen. Oh, just one more thing, inscribed wine glasses are optional.

37 comments:

Darlene said...

Artfully written and photographed, Baby! You captured the essence of the "viper bouquet" perfectly! Using our special glasses was a very elegant touch!

Thanks for sharing!
-d-

Jim said...

Thanks for giving me the idea with your wonderful comments! As always, thanks for your support and for giving me space in the kitchen!

Anonymous said...

Neat story, but glad it's not my kitchen!

Di

Jim said...

With all the animals running loose in the house when we were kids, I thought you'd be over that by now!!

Jungle Pete said...

And I thought my freezer full of dead birds and bats was strange....

Txstraub said...

Jim, I thought the same thing as Darlene when you talked about them all lined up in the kitchen. It's a rainbow of colors with all the little one's housed so neat and orderly. So glad you decided to share photos of them. I think it helps others realize the depth of your obsession, ahem, love for them.

Great photos, and yes, nice touch with the glasses, I'm sure Darlene is VERY thankful you didn't showcase any of them IN the glass!

Jim said...

Hi Pete! I think all of us "nature" folks have strange things in the freezer. I'll let Darlene tell you her adventure when she was looking in our freezer for chopped green onions!

Michelle - Thanks for your kind (I think) words about the bouquet. Since you've seen it in person, I know how much you appreciate it's beauty, elegance and overall Feng Shui.

25or6to4 said...

Feng Shui it may be, but how do the snakes feel? You say that everything was neatly folded, but all the towels in the containers are just haphazardly tossed in there! I'm sure the snakes are REAL comfortable. You better go and neatly fold each one.

Jim said...

Thought you could fool me, huh Jason?! Haphazardly. HAPHAZARDLY! I'll have you know EACH paper towel is carefully torn in half, then folded, not once, but twice, to create the perfect environment for my beloved baby vipers. If you had only taken time to look at them instead of playing Nevens on DS2, you would appreciate the beauty of the bouquet, just as your wife does.

Anonymous said...

Does that mean that you HAVE to sell them in pairs, or else the uneven stacks would just drive you absolutely bonkers? You know, it would look nicer if you hand dyed the paper towels before putting the vipers in there. Didn't you learn anything from Oprah? Geez, you must have been taking a nap during that episode.

Jim said...

Yes DEREK, the uneven stacks would drive me crazy. If I couldn't sell a pair, it would mean I would have to keep one, just to even it out or, at the very least, put an empty container in the stack! The episode you're referring to about Feng Shui and OCD was actually Dr. Phil, not Oprah. Obviously, it didn't help me.

Beth said...

A fine bouquet indeed.

Perfect for a perfect art form.

Now I will go back to my messy RV. Would be nice if Leo could find things when I am in hospital and want something.

beth

Jim said...

Thanks Beth...

Please tell Leo to call us if you need help with anything.

XXXX said...

The distances between your columns aren't consistent with one another, and seem to vary wildly. Also, your orange labels aren't aligned.

Aside from that, looks great!

Jim said...

X - You better go have your LASIK tweeked because the chalk lines, depth gauge, caliper, micrometer, protractor and carpenter's square all say the dimensions are PERFECT. You're correct about the orange labels, though. Guess I'll go tear it down and start over.

Aggie92 said...

It looks very symmetrical which I guess is one of the benefits of being
obsessive compulsive. By the way, they do have medication for that.

Jim said...

I saw you rooting through the dictionary, looking for that perfect "je ne sais quoi" word and all you could come up with was "symmetrical"?

Steve's girl said...

Nice display! I wish some of your 'neat and orderly' obsession had rubbed off on Josh and Leon while they were in Texas. Maybe we should send them to boot camp!

It is impressive to see how well you take care of your babies.

Jim said...

Yes, I tried MANY times to convince Josh he should be ironing his clothes instead of coming to work wrinkled. I agree, Boot Camp would be good for him, but could he survive? I'll have to ask PhD boy. That's sad, I didn't know Leon had the same bad habits!

Anonymous said...

It must have made you insane after the two Tasmanian devils visited last spring and made a mess of your stacks and spilled all of your water bowls while they ogled your vipers. Of course, it is always good to keep the obsessive compulsive busy before they can do any real damage. Does Darlene scatter the deli cups like Easter eggs throughout the house on occasion? That means she's pissed, dude. Birthday idea: a laser level, or some kind of GPS/altimeter combo may work even better.

Jim said...

No, we were happy to have the big boys here. How else would I have gotten out of the mud bog. Of course, I wouldn't have been out there if...oh never mind.

Darlene said...

Steve's Girl!
Sam and Josh are fine the way they are now! Not everyone is a neat freak and if we were how would be know to appreciate those of you that are orderly-obsessed! (meaning Jim) =)

Derek,
We were glad to have two giants stay and Jim is always happy when he's showing his animals to those who appreciate them! No! I would never disrupt his display =O That would be much worse than if I lost one of the TV remotes! ;-)

Michelle,
We must think alike because we share the same birthday!! =) Thank you for appreciating Jim's work!

-d-

Jim said...

Thanks for getting the comments to an even number Baby. You know how much that was bothering me. Oh wait, I just screwed that up, didn't I!

Darlene said...

You're welcome, Baby! Now the comments are an even number again =) I'm always happy to help!

XXXX said...

Odd numbers rule baby!!

Anonymous said...

You know, Jim, it's pretty sad when you have to email someone to BEG them to leave a comment on your blog. Don't you have enough friends already? It is a nice display you have there - mainly because it's in your kitchen and not mine.

Now about my appearance...well, what can I say - you're right. I know, I can't believe I said that either. But I'm working on it. SO THERE! Now you have an odd number of comments again (for now).

Jim said...

No, with X's help and your comment, it's even again. Darn, I did it again!

By the way, iron, ironing board, ironing board cover. Isle 23. Premium Starch. Isle 10. Walmart. Check it out.

Anonymous said...

Sorry, no WalMart here. No HEB, either.

Jim said...

Three Corners Market. Isle 7 and 17.

Eureka Grocery Outlet. Isle 3 (they're combined).

Safeway (3 stores). Isle 5.

Costco. Isle 178.

XXXX said...

ROFL! Man, you are harsh. Leave Josh and his wrinkly shirts alone.

Jim said...

Hey, his MOM brought it up! I'm just trying to help!

By the way, yesterday (28th) was my birthday. THANKS FOR REMEMBERING!

XXXX said...

Oh please. As if you know when my birthday is. Happy birthday, by the way. How does it feel to hit the big 60?

Jim said...

June 12th, same day as your anniversary, day after Big Daddy's birthday. What else you got, Big Boy?

Sixty? SIXTY?! Let me tell you something, SLICK!

Aggie92 said...

How old are you anyway?

Jim said...

Thirty nine (again).

Anonymous said...

If I would have had your skills as a kid, I wouldn't have gotten in trouble. I kept black widows in jars in my bedroom, which my mom tolerated until hundreds of baby widows hatched from the eggsacs and crawled out through the air holes!

Never found an adult female latrodectus hesperus in the house, but it made for some good nightmares!

Jim said...

Border Cowboy - Darlene brought a spider home from the zoo several years ago that was found in a shipment of bananas. I was in Heaven, she was terrified. As much as she tolerates snakes, she HATES spiders! We tried and tried to identify it, we even posted it's photo on the web without success. Then, to my delight and Darlene's horror, the unidentifiable spider laid a huge egg sac. Hundreds upon hundreds of babies hatched after a time and she (the spider, not Darlene) subsequently died. I always wondered if she gave her body to feed her babies. Like you, I've kept an eye out for non-native spiders in the house, but have never found any. I can't say what lurks out in the bushes, though!